Exchanging Motherhood for 25 to Life (a real life story)

I staggered along the edge of sanity in the shower, contemplating how peaceful my life would be in a 6ft by 8 ft jail cell. “Three hots and a cot” I whispered, as my needy family members took turns barging in on my 30 minute vacation. I stood timidly under the shower head, desperately begging for quiet and tranquility to trickle down. Instead of being granted serenity, many different versions of “mom” invaded my ear space. In thirty minutes, the household spiraled downward into a world of chaos and panic. In thirty minutes, I carefully planned the perfect crime and outfit I would wear walking into jail with my head held high. Well maybe not, but in that moment, I was frustrated enough to spin my head 360 degrees; like a mad woman in need of a straight jacket. Since I couldn’t actually act on devilish desires, I had to figure out a way preserve my mental stability and crime-free record.

The struggles of motherhood are not widely publicized but we mothers (and fathers) know how hard it can be taking on the most difficult job known to man. Roles such as psychologist, mediator, chef, maid, doctor, and personal assistant are a part of everyday life, minus the training and pay. So just how do we handle it? The key is self-preservation. It is imperative that we keep ourselves at a high functioning level, which calls for regular maintenance check-ups. These check-ups come in the form of regular doctor visits, trips to the spa, nights out with friends, etc. These activities promote physical, mental, and emotional health. Next, it’s necessary to know your limits. As a parent, it is easy to check into super-hero mode and forget that you are a human being with limitations. As much as your heart desires to be all that you can be plus more, recognize that perfection is impossible. The old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” is absolutely true. Gather up your village of grandparents, mentors, friends, and family because without them, a hard life will definitely be served up on a silver platter.

I decided not to “off” my family. Even though they make me feel loonier than Bugs Bunny on Prozac, I love them dearly. I recognized my fault of forgetting to lock the bathroom door while showering. That was “me” time and for thirty minutes I earned the right to a steamy hot vacation in “Shower Falls.” Whatever happens outside of the shower, for thirty minutes, it’s not my concern. If the family can’t get on board with that, I just may sign up for a lifetime cellmate (just kidding folks.)

Release the Inner Goddess in You



Aphrodite




Do you find yourself looking like a gray and rainy Tuesday, completely overshadowed by a Saturday night in stiletto pumps? Those days of catching a stranger’s (or your partner’s) eye, are tucked away with old college memorabilia. More often than not, women become trapped in their roles as mothers, wives, and employees and lose sight of who they are as individuals. The inner goddess that resides in all women lay gasping for breaths of air underneath sweatpants and messy ponytails. The other group of “goddess-violators” restrict themselves with an overly-conservative life of boring colors and prudish behaviors. That pretty bottle of perfume on the vanity appears to have been replaced with “attraction repellant”. It is as if many women have forgotten how to have spontaneous fun, be playful, and dare I say it….Be Sexy!! If you fall into one of these categories, you might be wondering: How can I release the goddess within me? How can I enhance my irresistibility and attraction?  

·        Firstly, it is essential to reshape the way you view yourself. If you do not see yourself as beautiful, confident, and desirable, others will follow suit.  This is comparable to attempting to sell a product that you don’t believe in, yet expecting a consumer to purchase it. Promote yourself!

·        The next step is to recognize and embrace your inner child. The inner child gives off a youthful glow and most importantly, it contributes to your overall happiness. Indulge in childhood games and activities that bring about laughter and excitement. Turning the music up and dancing wildly to an up-tempo musical beat can easily grant access to absolute freedom. Not only is this step “eye-watering” fun, it is medicine for the soul. Amuse yourself!

·        The third step involves trying something new. Whether you decide to try horseback riding, learn a new language, take a cooking class, or join a club, it will be a breath of fresh air to introduce a new aspect of living to your schedule. In this step, the challenge is to offer up a “slow yes”, instead of a “fast no”. Create a list of “things you must do before it’s all over” and GO FOR IT! Dare yourself!

·        The fourth step is to go on dates….with you. Get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, dreams and aspirations, fears and issues. In this process, your self-esteem is likely to increase because you are paying more attention to you and your self-worth. Kick your feet up to enjoy chocolate ice cream on a sugar cone while you reflect on everything you have overcome in Life. Then, enjoy you in that moment, in between licks of sweetness. Feel the soft wind against your skin, a gentle breeze surrounding wisps of your hair, and recognize how brilliant and unique you are. There is not one person in this world, past, present or future that will walk in your shoes, look through your eyes, and impact the environment in the exact way that you have done so. Award yourself!

·        The fifth step is fun! Get sex-ified.  Every woman has sexiness and spice; some are just better than others at putting it on display. The key is finding channels in which you can express this sexiness and enhancing it to the fullest. Getting sex-ified is not to be confused with being promiscuous or wearing “late night corner” get-up. It is the celebration of a woman’s curves in a sensual way. Standing before a mirror and watching how your body moves to music, honing in on your senses, and opening yourself up to your environment would be a great way to start the sex-ification process. Something as simple as wearing matching lingerie underneath your clothing can serve as a self-esteem booster shot. Be hot for yourself!

The goddess in you is fun, flirty, sensual, and knowledgeable. She is not afraid to try a new cuisine, after going salsa dancing on a Thursday night. There is a flicker of youth in her eye, and a hint of tease in her smile. All you have to do is release her so that she may take you for the liveliest ride of your Life.  

Discovering the Beauty in you

Imagine…..you’ve been secretly videotaped for several weeks engaged in your everyday routine. Before you are several screen shots of you headed to work, shopping at the grocery store, picking up your children from school, and performing other various tasks. What do you see? No, look past the obvious behaviors and surroundings, what do you really see? Ask yourself: Have I discovered and enhanced my beauty in every way, shape, or form? Before you determine your grade of beauty, it is time to reevaluate our definitions of beauty and embrace this idea of being beautiful in a whole new way.

All of our life, we are led to believe that beauty is perfection. The perfect body size, perfect skin, teeth and hair. We are duped into believing what we see on television and in movies exist in “real life” and our standards should be set by characters in Hollywood. We criticize ourselves for not shrinking back to size threes, six weeks after childbirth, not keeping those extra thirty pounds off in between diets, and not “mysteriously” waking up with altered bodies parts just the way those celebrities have managed to do so. Today is the day that we decide beauty by our own standards and understand that celebrities are paid to create and perfect a polished image and a team of people who dedicate their lives to making you think this type of perfection really exists.

So what exactly is beauty? Beauty is awareness and celebration. Beauty is good health, confidence and happiness. The first step is being aware of your strengths and flaws. In this step you determine what areas you should play up and enhance and what areas you should play down and/or improve. If your eyes are your best feature, put a bit of mascara on to celebrate your gift of beauty. If up-do hairstyles bring out the girl in you, don’t hesitate to bring some youthful years back to your face. Take out a little extra time in the morning to put together a coordinated outfit, one that enhances the tone of your skin and the color of your eyes. Beauty is good health. Dieting leads to a road of disappointment and can be flat out dangerous. A better idea would be to incorporate healthy food staples into your current eating habits; trade off an unhealthy item for a healthy one. An example would be exchanging a daily morning jelly doughnut for a bagel with flavored cream cheese or a fresh bowl of fruit. Love your body and nourish it with lots of water. Beauty is confidence. When you are walking down the street, act as if you are a model on a runway, strutting before a crowd of spectators. Walk with your shoulders back and your head held high. Not only does this poised walk improve your core, it also gives you a look of confidence and a feeling of belonging. Most importantly, beauty is happiness. A smile, small crinkling by the eyes (everything Botox takes away) and a warm spirit is a magnet for good social times. People will be drawn to you, wanting to know your secret to a good life. Beauty is you, if you let it be and embrace the idea of being perfectly imperfect.

Mojito Party

Island Escapade

Every now and then, a mojito girl has to take a break from everyday life, and indulge in a little fun. She has to kick off her tired shoes, slip a sunflower into her hair, and put on some music to dance to. At a mojito party, no form of stress is invited. To kick the party off, try a frozen mojito (recipe below) or two or three. Relax, unwind, and enjoy.

Get Lost in your Frozen Vacation......

Ingredients

For every 4 slushes, you will need:

• 1 pint lime sorbet or 1 can lime ade from frozen juice section
• 8 shots light rum
• 1/2 cup mint leaves
• 1 tray ice cubes

Directions

In a blender, combine 1/2 pint sorbet or 1/2 can of lime ade with 4 shots of rum, 1/4 cup mint leaves and 1/2 tray of ice. Pulse, then blend on high until lime-mint slush is smooth. Pour drinks into 2 large cocktail glasses using a long handled spoon and repeat with remaining ingredients.

Lies, Sex, and Caution Tape (stories are fictional)

Enter if You Dare

Mars: Spiked stilettos and cranberry juice; crimson passion bursting through restrained desires. The bed felt familiar but the curves before me took unpredictable turns. My anxious hands danced to a new tune. I could feel my heart throbbing, stopping, moaning, cringing, and stopping once more as fear and excitement pulsated through rhythmic bodies. In a land of opportunity, I allowed myself to do what felt right for me.  

Venus: Frozen cubes of a broken heart floating lifelessly in a bath of alcohol. The sting feels nice against my throat. One look into his eyes and his body screamed out “the secret.” It was evident in his new look, impure and dark, obvious in the overwhelming stench of cheap perfume. Our disconnected hearts were riding down opposite sides of Love Boulevard. In a world of feelings, he chose betrayal as the perfect gift for me.

Infidelity in relationships is as common as a seasonal cold. In fact, 57% of men and 54% of women admit to infidelity (emotional and/or physical) in any relationship they’ve had. 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a co-worker. 74% of men say they would have an affair if they knew they wouldn’t get caught. 68% of women also admitted their willingness to engage in a consequence-free affair. These astronomical percentages blatantly spit in the face of monogamy and the very purpose of being in a relationship to begin with. While it is true that most affairs are not planned, it doesn’t appear that committed people are doing a heck of a lot to prevent innocent attractions from developing into lustful trysts. The single counterparts in the affairs are also to blame. Instead of perceiving the affair to be a nod to their non-existent self-esteem, they could attempt to empathize with the person being cheated on and anyone else indirectly involved. It is true that some singles may not know they are apart of an affair, but the ones who do are just as guilty as the adulterer.  I have developed a pre-cheater’s checklist guide which is a set of questions that one should ask themselves in the event of a blooming attraction for the “other person”.

•   Am I doing anything to put myself into uncomfortable spaces with the “other person?”
•   If my significant other were present, would I behave in this manner?
•   Is this “other person” enough to replace my significant other, and not just fill a minor deficit?
•   How will I feel immediately after the affair?    
•   How will I feel if my significant other discovered my actions?
•   What would I do if a child resulted from this affair, or a sexually transmitted disease?
•    How might this affair come back to bite me “where the sun don’t shine?”  

It’s simple, think before you cheat.

*Stats taken from: http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html