Life of the sexy crazy single mom
Life can easily put you in an unnatural situation; that is, the rearing of a child on a team of one. Many mojitos later, and you’re still wondering: “how in the hell am I going to manage?” There is bills, toys, dating, more toys (watch your feet, those toys do major damage), PTA meetings, co-parenting drama, or no co-parent at all, and maintaining your sanity and individuality all to be juggled in one. A circus act indeed. While it may be tempting to climb up a hill of brownies and jump down into a pool of alcohol, it is important that you keep your head together. Is it fair? Heck no! And to those people who dare to undermine the job of a single mother, take on two jobs for the pay of one and see how quickly you jump on board (or off a roof). So now that we’ve established that single motherhood is ridiculously hard, we’ve got to figure out a way to excel at it. You know, come out alive, and homicide-free. I love to say, “If there is a will, there is a way.”
Lipstick: As a single mother, you have got to preserve your “pretty.” Wake up a half hour ahead of your planned schedule and pull out the make-up bag and curling irons. This won’t be easy, especially if you already traded in precious sleep hours to do the family’s laundry. You may not be able to do it daily, as unforeseen occurrences pop up in motherhood as often a zits on a teenager’s face. But do it as much as you possibly can. If you ever want to be successful in the dating world (which brings me to my next point), you must respect and showcase your femininity.
Stilettos: As a single mother, you have got to slip into some sexy shoes (and/or other sexy items). Get “sex-ified” (I’ve mentioned this in earlier posts). In all honesty, a lot of men place single mothers at the end of the dating totem pole because of issues that arise with parenting (and “baby-daddy” drama). Do we really want to keep ourselves on the bottom with bland clothing and boring personalities. I know there is a badge of honor that comes along with saying “My kids are my life” but in more honesty, they are not! They will grow up, meet their husbands and wives and leave you in a house on a hill with cats. Lots of cats!!!! I am not asking single mothers to bring random guys around their children, as that can be downright dangerous, but I am daring you to get out and date. Being a single mother is not a sentence of eternal loneliness, it is a path of life.
Play dates: The kids deserve to have fun too. Of all people involved in single-mom-dom, the children bear no fault. Every week, set aside special time just for the children to participate in play dates, museum visits, ice cream stops, etc. Set up male role-models to play an active role in your children’s lives. I’ll say this with simplicity and intensity, “You cannot be a mother and father to your children.” It is too hard on you and it robs the children of opportunities to bond with a male figure. If you don’t believe me, check “down under” to see if you carry both “parts.” If you still don’t believe me, wait a couple of years and watch the issues your children present with, due to a lack of a male role model in their lives.
In single-motherhood, you will need a strong support system, a heck of a wardrobe, and a bottle of rum (but only for those really hard days). Go ahead and live the life of a sexy, crazy single mom, fabulously!
